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So we have our Specimen A (read Pappu) who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth (which was later surgically removed, I suppose). Hits the gym everyday and builds his boddie to make full use of his blue eyed angrez looks. The man has it all- a fancy schmancy MBA, holidays in France, the fast cars, the expensive watches and designer perfume (the modern metrosexual man, eh?).. No wonder he’s a craze among the lay-deej! Still has his papa’s faith (mine lost faith in me sometime in high school), musically talented.. The man reigns where ever he goes. But poor Specimen A, in spite of all this, the dude is taunted, publicly, in a farewell party with real loud music. Teased by the very people he parties with, his popularity and star quality notwithstanding- simply because he cannot dance!

Now consider Specimen B - yours truly. Pappu probably is already at a dance studio, the finest his money can get! Not only can B not dance (and not afford the class either), B doesn’t have any of the other things Pappu has. If the well endowed and talented Pappu’s fate is this, mera kya hoga, Kaaliya??

Dream sequence: song and dance, with at least a hundred youngsters on the floor, and a DJ wearing psychedelic colors (well, Specimen B can’t have real parties, the lease doesn’t allow that, don’t you know?)

Tirkit daana tirkit daana hee hee haa haa last chance
Tirkit daana tirkit daana hee hee haa haa last chance

Hai globular, hai jocular,
Hai globular, hai jocular, irregular and singular! (she’s singular.. she’s singular)
Iski to life ek daze hai
140 pounds she weighs hai
Her mundane life is rotten through
Milta nahi use praise hai… (use praise hai…)
Ise gaana nahi aata hai, but gaati “la la la”
Iske muh pe lagaao thaala! (hoye hoye hoye hoye)
Iske muh pe lagaao thaala! (hoye hoye hoye hoye)

Wenna may I see you when you prance and you fall
And a wenna may I see you when you prance….hey!

Tirkit daana tirkit daana hee hee haa haa fat chance
Tirkit daana tirkit daana hee hee haa haa fat chance

Paida yeh hui to tab bhi thi yeh chunky
Kisi se na hui dosti, aur nikli ek flunkie
Hey yeah yeah… iske paas na paisaaaaa
Hey yeah yeah… wants a guy Imraan ke jaisaa
Hey yeah yeah… yeh to bahut bekaar hai……
Hey yeah yeah.. paas na car hai, na yaar hai
And she never got romance waala! (hoye hoye hoye hoye)
And she never got romance waala! (hoye hoye hoye hoye)

End dream sequence

Sigh.

P.S. to the non-Hindi-understanding section of the readership: English translation to the dream sequence can be found here
P.P.S: the original score can be found here

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Adrian Belew

Side Three (2006)

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Indie rockers Silverchair achieved a fair bit of notoriety for themselves tagging along with the tail end of the grunge movement when still only in high school. These days things the lads are a little more melodic with Luv Your Life being one of their more mellow tracks. This video was directed by top animator and director Steven Scott and has a really wistful quality about it that’s nicely in tune with the music and even though it’s a few years old now is still a top clip.

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While critics often garner our respect for their insightful analysis and interpretations of works of art, reviewers have their share of distress while reviewing. Unlike critics, reviewers do not have much liberty in choosing the books, movies, or albums. Reviewing something which they feel strongly about (especially negatively) is when reviewers may tend to get into trouble.

Jeevi of IdleBrain.com is the most popular Telugu movie reviewer on the Internet. He used to review almost every single movie, straight or dubbed, immediately after its release. A couple of years ago, he skipped reviewing a big-budget movie called Bangaram. The movie turned out to be the worst movie in hero Pawan Kalyan’s career and the grapevine was ripe with speculation that Jeevi might not have written the review only because it would’ve sounded a death knell to the movie’s meagre chances.

Earlier this year, Rediff’s Raja Sen revealed the climax of Race in his review, and after some controversy and debate about whether a review can or can not reveal the ending of a movie, half-heartedly apologized to the film-makers while justifying his actions.

Around the same time, Maxim’s David Peisner gave a 2.5/5 star review to the Black Crowes album Warpaint without actually listening to it. It blew into a high-voltage drama that ended with Maxim’s president releasing an official apology.

These instances, and perhaps most others which have created controversies, originated from a reviewer’s strong feelings, which he or she is entitled to have. The reviewer may find a movie god-awful and might feel dutiful to advise the readers against watching it. The trouble comes when the god-awfulness ebbs over the objectivity. And even Roger Ebert wasn’t immune to it.

Last week, Ebert gave a 1 star review to an indie Tru Loved after watching only eight minutes of the 102-minute movie! He made a full disclosure in the review itself, though that might not usually be enough to avert a controversy, especially for a reviewer of Ebert’s stature.

But there isn’t much controversy over it. His actions in the aftermath have been truly exemplary. Being the honest and wise man he is, he poured out his thoughts into his widely-read journal. He listened to the reader’s comments, pondered even more, admitted his guilt of affection for his prose, watched the whole movie this time, and reviewed it again. (The 1 star remains.) The man who perhaps has contributed more to film criticism than any other single individual showed the path, that more than a review or a movie or readers, it is the plain truth that deserves priority.

However, this doesn’t end the debate nor the dilemma. Can a reviewer skip a review to help his friend-filmmaker? Can a reviewer reveal a climax? Can a reviewer walk out of a movie and still review it? If yes, can he review it watching just the promos? If no, where is the tipping point, the time after which it may be allowed?

It won’t be futile for every reviewer to face these questions, and more importantly to answer it in his or her own manner.

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SONY BMG Music Entertainment (UK), and SONY BMG Music Entertainment International have now completed their move from their previous offices in Fulham and Hammersmith respectively into their brand new headquarters at 9 Derry Street, London, W8 5HY.

The new office number is +44 20 7361 8000.

Email addresses remain the same.

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